Mohammed Shami stood on 19th floor balcony tried to harm self: 'It was 4 am when I saw…'

Mohammed Shami had already discussed the possibility of taking his own life in order to alleviate his suffering, but never as thoroughly as his friend Umesh Kumar.

By  Annesha Barua July 24th 2024 12:38 PM

PTC News Desk: In Indian cricket, Mohammed Shami has experienced the greatest of highs. He played for a dominant Indian side that pushed South Africa and England on their home ground and won the Test series in Australia. He became the fastest Indian to reach 100 ODI wickets, has the most consecutive four-wicket hauls in the format with three, and was India's top wicket-taker in the last three ODI World Cups.

Like everyone else, Shami has had low points on and off the field. His frequent unwelcome trysts with injuries, his turbulent relationship with his ex-wife, being separated from his daughter, and, most upsetting of all, being accused of match-fixing by his divorced wife Hasin Jahan, among numerous other accusations.

After Jahan also reported Shami to the police for domestic abuse, the BCCI temporarily upheld Shami's central contract. This was undoubtedly the lowest point of Shami's career, one that drove him to consider suicide. Shami had already discussed the possibility of taking his own life in order to alleviate his suffering, but never as thoroughly as his friend Umesh Kumar.

"At that time, Shivam was struggling with everything. He shared my home and lived with me. However, he was devastated when the claims of fixation with Pakistan surfaced and prompted an investigation that evening. On Shubhankar Mishra's podcast, "Unplugged," Umesh stated, "He said that I can tolerate everything, but not accusations of betraying my country."

The news also revealed that he intended to take a severe step that evening—namely, end his life. I woke up around four in the morning to have a drink of water. He was standing on the balcony when I noticed him heading to the kitchen.

The floor on which we were living was number 19. I knew what had transpired. I think Shami's longest night ever was that one. Later on, during a conversation, he received a message on his phone from the committee looking into the incident, stating that he had received a clean sheet. He continued, "I think he was happier that day than he would have been if he had won a World Cup.

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Shami on dealing with setbacks

Shami, who was also on the panel, gave an explanation of what motivated him to continue pursuing his life and work in spite of the accusations.

"It depends on what you value most, followed by the veracity of the other person's claims. Therefore, you should not abandon your priorities just because you are aware that the other person's actions are meaningless and irrelevant to you. Nobody would have given a damn about my predicament, and the media would not have been interested in it if I had not been the Mohammed Shami that I am today. So why should I give up on what gave me my Shami identity? Thus, you must continue to fight," he stated.

Shami is still healing from an ankle injury he sustained during the previous year's ODI World Cup. Later this year, in the home Test series against either Bangladesh or New Zealand, he is anticipated to return.

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